Meet Your Neighbors: Totally Pwnd Turkey

If you were watching football on Thanksgiving, you missed a far more exciting competition:

A Minnesota man basted a 72-pound turkey to trounce his sister in their annual sibling rivalry over who can prepare the biggest Thanksgiving bird. Last year, Andra Portnoy cooked a 47-pounder to take the lead after her brother could only find a 37-pounder, even though he lives in the nation's top turkey-producing state. Rich Portnoy roasted his tubby turkey in his 36-inch-wide, chef-caliber oven on Thursday to top the biggest bird his sister had ever cooked by 25 pounds.

Pwned!

Andra Portnoy conceded defeat from her Reston, Va., home, but noted that her brother's large oven gave him an edge.

Sure, he might have a larger oven. But do cluster covenants ensure that the color of the soffit trim on his neighbor's house is exactly identical to his?

We thought not.