'Price Improvements' and other desperate things Realtors(tm) like to say

We'd thought such a brilliant innovation as a spastically dancing Open House sign would have singlehandedly solved the subprime mortgage crisis and made Reston housing values rebound faster than South Lakes High School's boundary lines. But fear not! We spotted a For Sale sign with a "Price Improvement" tag in front of a townhouse at Reston Town Center today, and we're still reeling at its brilliance.

Think about it: When you see "Price Reduced" slapped on top of one of the many For Sale signs dotting Reston's mauve and stucco developments, it sends the wrong message. First, it's just tacky. Second, it brings up some unpleasant associations. Like, you know, that maybe Reston isn't that special a place and that now isn't a good time to buy, what with prices being reduced and whatnot. Pretty soon, just about anybody could buy that $251,000 home with a really split foyer. And if prices are being reduced, why not just wait until they fall through the floor and people will gladly swap their homes for a box of shiny beads and bus fare?

But a price improvement? That's awesome! Whether selling or buying, that means you'll be in the driver's seat! The winner's circle! Better hurry, before it gets improved again and only the bank will take it!