Oh, Canada, just be quiet already

Apparently word of Reston's trepediation-filled identity crisis has made its way to the Great White North:

A presentation on how municipalities could be landscaped gave Collingwood council food for thought Monday, but Coun. Ian Chadwick cautioned against taking the idea too far.

"I don't want us to be like Reston, Virginia," he declared.

Oh no he diiiiiint! What could the nice people of Collingwood, which apparently is in Canada, which apparently is somewhere north of Maine and south of the North Pole, where Santa Claus, who clearly is an American, lives, have against our awesome city real estate development? We'll let "Ian" (which kind of sounds more Russian than Canadian -- hmmm) explain:

He said the community is planned to the point where regulations specify what colour a doghouse can be and how far from a house it must be placed.

Which is far more heinous than regulations saying that every object must be labeled in both French and English, necessitating glowing 6-inch letters stating chateau de chien or something like that on the dog houses up there.

Of course, Canada has its own Reston, which just sounds like a lovely place, what with the Loonie-sized hail and the unsolved pipeline field consultant murders and whatnot. But at least their dogs don't have to live in mauve houses, at least when they can see them as the snowpacks recede in late July, the end.

(Shout-out to Seth W., who apparently speaks Canadian fluently, for the tip.)