This Week in Crime: Perhaps the Most Hilarious Surveillance Cam Shot Ever

We thought the surveillance cam shots of Reston's athletic but plan-adverse serial bank robber were awesome, but that was until we saw this photo of some dude who stole a bunch of crap from the Sport and Health Club in Isaac Newton Square.

This image -- to dismissively call it a "photo" would be to greatly diminish its textual impact, like calling the Mona Lisa "a painting" -- is a masterpiece of light and shadow, with the perspective not only intriguing to the eye, but a nearly technically perfect study of the effects of chiriascuro. Taken as a single iconic entity, this pixelated work of art leads us to reconsider our preconceived notions about "surveillance" -- who's really watching who? And since he stole a bunch of other stuff, why didn't he steal the security camera?

Anyhoo, here are the ugly details:

Fairfax County Crime Solvers is asking for the public’s assistance in identifying the man responsible for larcenies at a health club in Reston. On Saturday, February 21 between 1 and 2 p.m. a man forced open lockers at the Sport and Health Club, located at 11445 Isaac Newton Square. He took numerous items to include an iPod, BlackBerry, heart monitor, cellular phone, credit cards and cash. The suspect used several of the credit cards later at an ATM and stole more than $2,400.

Surveillance cameras captured the suspect and police are hopeful someone will recognize him. He is described as black, 6 feet to 6 feet 2 inches tall and between 230 and 250 pounds. He has brown eyes, a shaved head and a mustache.

Anyone with information is asked to contact Crime Solvers by phone at 1-866-411-TIPS(8477), e-mail at www.fairfaxcrimesolvers.org or text “TIP187” plus your message to CRIMES(274637).

Of course, this happened back on Feb. 21, so that iPod and Blackberry are likely long gone by now. But hey! No rush on getting the word out or anything -- it's not like anyone might need that heart monitor or anything.