Now Cough! Tonight's 'Town Hall' on Health Care to Attract Wackos of all Stripes

Grab your wacky doctored Kenyan birth certificate and lovingly photoshopped photo of the President, because tonight's the night we've been waiting for -- the night Reston looks a lot like Alabama or Mississippi by embarrassing itself in front of its elected leaders, or at least former DNC Chair Howard Dean and career incumbent Jim Moran, at a "town hall" on health care. And they're expecting a donnybrook!

Moran spokesman Austin Durrer said the event has been highlighted on conservative blogs, a fact that has them gearing up for vocal opponents in the audience.

"We're anticipating an organized effort to bring people out," Durer said.

Among them: Randall Terry of anti-abortion group Operation Rescue, who is planning a special "skit" attacking the health plan, which he beleives will "kill unborn babies and old ladies." Wait, what?

A character wearing an Obama mask opened the skit by handing Terry three baby dolls in rapid succession. Terry stabbed each one, then threw them over his shoulder.

Terry, the physician, then examined a woman with a wig of long gray hair. After looking at her eyes and listening to her heart, Terry stabbed her.

"That's your health-care bill. Kill Granny," Terry said. "Go Obama. One dead person at a time."

Terry, director of Operation Rescue Insurrect Nex, is performing his skit in 10 cities on a trip whose final stop will be in Reston, Va., tomorrow.

"In Reston, we intend to disrupt a meeting being run by Congressman James Moran and [former Vermont Gov.] Howard Dean," he said.

We love legitimate theater! But in the interest of being (heh) Fair and Balanced, we'll point out the MoveOn.org folks have been carpet-bombing the area with phone calls and e-mails urging their supporters to attend, too. So we're expecting a reasoned, well-articulated debate on the merits of a multi-payer health care system. Then again, we're also expecting a pink sparkly pony named Sparkles to arrive at our house in time to whisk us to the town hall, so we're probably not the best judge of such things.

But there is good news. The conceal-carry nuts enthusiasts we've worried about won't be able to do their Patriotic Duty, for one simple reason: the last time we checked, South Lakes was a school:

Firearms advocates have created a stir at some town halls by openly carrying handguns and even a semiautomatic rifle. But Moran's town hall will be at a high school auditorium and weapons are banned from school grounds.

More proof that dissent will be crushed? Only folks from Moran's home district will be allowed into the 2,700-seat auditorium.

Attendance is being restricted to residents of Moran's Northern Virginia congressional district, which encompasses the City of Alexandria, Arlington County, Falls Church and parts of Fairfax County including Reston and Tysons Corner. Attendees will be asked to sign in and give their address and email address. Those not from the district will be turned away from the auditorium.

But will their names be sent to the death panels?