Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
"Reston Ass!" As we gird our earth-toned loins for the second round of devastating fractalized killer hellspawn destruction from above this winter season, we thought we'd try to share one last laugh from the last major snowpocalypse to give us all a final chuckle before we slide into utter mirthless chaos. We'll be "live weblogging" during the storm, at least until the power goes out and civilization as we know it completely unravels. We'd encourage you to do the same, in the comments. A few suggested posts:
"It's still snowing."
"God, it's still snowing."
"All snow and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
"Saw a snowplow. It was immediately besieged by zombies, who pulled the driver out and feasted on his brains, given the lack of bread and milk in the grocery stores."
"Thought I saw the sun come out, but it actually was the glare from the corpse fire in the neighbor's yard. I should really call the DRB about this, assuming they still exist once the snowplows dig us out in May."
You get the idea. In the meantime, continuous, up-to-the-minute updates are available here.
This was Trader Joe's at 6:59 PM on 2/4/10: http://i47.tinypic.com/rqyb76.jpg
ReplyDeleteDay 1: Supplies desperately low. We've already depleted our stocks of eggs, bacon and pancakes. Fresh fruit and juices running low. Only three Reese's Peanut Butter Cups left. Can't locate our copy of Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Snow Goons.
ReplyDeleteWhen is this evil snow going to start?
10:25 Day 1: Snow falling. The Gulag is already beginning to resemble the ice planet Hoth. Where's my Taun-Taun when I need it?
ReplyDeleteEveryone has cabin fever. Must brave the elements before we all kill each other. Five Guys is our only hope! Are the sidewalks and pathways already unpassable? Will all of the crazies be out on Reston Parkway? Does Blockbuster carry Doctor Zhivago...
I've heard it said that civilization is only nine meals away from collapsing, i.e., that supermarkets need to be replenished every three days or so.
ReplyDeleteTo augment my emergency food supply, I'm off now to find some of the acorns that the squirrels buried this autumn.
The first snowflake here in the Uplands of Reston met a fiery death from a propane grill. A lot more flakes have arrived to avenge the death, but they're not sticking around.
ReplyDeleteHere's a link to lots of tasty squirrel recipes: http://www.backwoodsbound.com/zsquir.html
Squirrels and bacon! Mmmm.
Day 1, 11:35 a.m.: Less than one inch and already one child has been taken from me by our new snowy overlords. Which is eerie, because I don't even have children.
ReplyDeleteGuy Rando is running for the Lake Anne/Tall Oaks RA Board seat. You can read his Citizens' Reston Master Plan, Dulles Corridor--Specific Planning Principles on his facebook page.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=wall&ref=search&id=100000690407654
Kathy Kaplan
There's one important question I haven't seen answered: does Reston Hospital have a backup generator for their liver fixing machine? I plan to drink, and drink heavily, all weekend.
ReplyDeleteI told my family I wanted a bobcat with a snowplow blade for Christmas. They thought I was kidding. Darn! But there's nothing going on down at the stream deforestation complex, maybe they won't notice if I borrow one. I could make a fortune tomorrow with it...
ReplyDeleteDay 1: The kids are starting to look like roasted chickens a'la Buggs Bunny takes the penguin to the south pole.
ReplyDeleteDay 1, 6:00 p.m.: The snowy overlords have been forcing me to drink lots and lots of booze, watch my favorite videos, nap, eat Amy's burritos (with TapatÃo salsa picante, naturally), and feel minor pangs of snow-day work guilt. Will this madness ever stop?
ReplyDeleteWwwwwwhyyyyyy???
The Sterling radar shows lots of stuff coming down, except in a pie-slice with the point at Sterling. Sherlock says: The weather radar's getting snowed in!
ReplyDeleteDay 1, 5:45 pm. Civilization as we know it is coming to an end: the YMCA closed at 5 pm and the girls at the front desk wouldn't commit to whether or not they would be open on Saturday. Oh the horrors!
ReplyDeleteThere is hope still, though. Target is staying open until 11:30 pm.
just a heads up to anyone who may be a new resident (or new homeowner)- if you have an electric heat pump (as many of the townhomes around here do), make sure you go out tonight and shovel around it. If it gets burried, the air intake gets blocked and it will burn out very quickly, and you will wake up at 3am to a very cold house (and an expensive problem).
ReplyDeleteOn the news, they were showing the empty grocery shelves at WalMart.
ReplyDeleteKudos for whomever ponied up for the snowplowing this time. 100 percent more plowing on my street than I saw last snowstorm already. Which is once. But still, credit where credit is due.
ReplyDeleteDoninion Virginia has a really good Website that tracks on a detailed map where power outages are (not that this will do you any good if you're one of the unlucky ones):
ReplyDeletehttp://outagemap.dom.com/DomComFlexOutageViewer/index.html
According to this map, as of almost 11:00 p.m. on Day 1 of Frozen Armagedon, there seems to be only one power outage in Reston, right by where Reston Parkway, Lawyers Road, and Fox Mill all merge, and affecting 82 customers. It doesn't say when the outage began, but it does say that estimated time of restoration is 11:00 p.m. tonight.
I salute those workers from Dominion Virginia who are out in this hellacious weather trying to get the problem fixed. In a way it's reassuring to know that in the worst storm in a century at least some people are not going to have to wait days to get back their power.
Day 1: Snowpocolypce 11:11 pm
ReplyDeleteThe thin veneer of civilization has been sheared away from the latent barbarism lurking in the hearts of humanity...
"Children" attack one another with hardened frozen projectiles and laugh.
With days more of chilly doom raining down from the skies I fear there is no hope...
Snowpocalypse, Day 2, 8:44 am. Awoke to find my earth-toned community an alabaster shadow of its former self.
ReplyDeleteNo phone! No lights! No motor cars! Not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe, as primitive as can be.
Fortunately, I've managed to construct an Internet router out of bamboo.
Anon 8:47 raises an interesting question. Is "snow white" a DRB-approved color?
ReplyDeleteSnowpocalypse, Day 2
ReplyDeleteMy neighbors, the Donners have invited us over for a party!
What should I bring?
Much now here (Soapstone and Glade) a tip from a friend in Wisconsin: if the power goes out, turn the gas stove on and with blankets section off that part of the house but be mindful of the oxigen!
ReplyDeleteShovel out. Shovel in. Repeat.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 8:47 Very good, Professor. I'm going to steal your Gilligan's Island rant.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 10:52 Take some meat tenderizer and lots of weapons.
Dominion did a great job. Thanks guys! Power was out only 13 hours. It's all fun and games until the electricity gives out.
Day 2, 2:09 pm. Namaste, fellow island mates. The snow monster has shown itself. I came in with fury but seems to be retreating now. Several of my neighbors have been devoured, especially since the snow plows dumped all of the plowed snow in front of their cars. Another neighbor, Benjamin Linus, is seriously pissed because we sacrificed one of the unnumbered spots beside his assigned parking place for snow collection. Unfortunately, the snow in that spot is already so tall, he won't be able to put more on it without it rolling back into his assigned spot.
ReplyDeleteI am reminded of a conversation I had the other day with this nice gentleman on the Metro. I told him that I was very concerned with the impending snowmageddon. He put his hand on my should and said "Friend, I'm from Buffalo. You have nothing to worry about." I asked him his name. He said it was "Jacob".
Good tip from Rod about using the gas stove if your power goes out, but of course many people don't have gas stoves. If you're in this category but have a portable electric heater, here's one possible pro-active strategy you can use to get ready for a potential power outage: select a comfortable room in your house, probably a bedroom, to be a safehaven of sorts. Put the electric heater in there ahead of time, turn it on high, and close the door to trap the heat. If you can get the room temperature up to the mid-70s or higher, you should have at least 10-12 hours or more (depending on how well insulated your house is -- glad I sprung for the new energy-efficient Andersen windows this past summer)of relative comfort above 60 degrees.
ReplyDeleteAnd obviously, when you're in your safehaven, keep the door closed!
A mid Winter Reston Sking Adventure or Current Skie Conditions
ReplyDeleteWell I made it out of our Cul De Sack to Glade. Conditions were excellent on Glade as the plows haven't been through. I passed one neighbor whose huge pine tree branches broke off and broke his rear windshield and generally saw devastated large pine trees. My guess Reston will have fewer of them now.
I passed several 4x4's which seemed to have no trouble traveling in the snow.
I made it past nature house where a few kids were playing where I encountered a man maned Anderson also on skies. He reported electric out at his place and went onward turning left on Soapstone heading away from 7-11.
Saw the police go by on Wiehle in a big tank-like truck. Apparently the Crown Vics don't handle on snow so well.
ReplyDeleteSnowmageddon, Day 2, 5:45 pm. At long last, the sun makes a feeble appearance, casting odd shadows as dusk falls on our no-longer-earth-toned community. That's good; it means the evil fractals falling from the sky are gone.
ReplyDeleteBut now darkness falls. And who rules the night? That's right. Zombies.
Pray for us.
Day 2, 6:45 pm. There are a large number of trees down along South Lakes Dr blocking the road in both directions. Lots of trees fallen on Soapstone as well, although this seems to be reserved to the west (Shadoweed) side of the street. If you must travel between Colts Neck and Soapstone, Glade would be your play.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing that Desmond forgot to enter the code again.
Gah! The Playstation just broke. We're all doomed!
ReplyDeleteOur power was out for 18 hours. It went out at 2:50 a.m. -- I know this because I was up getting a drink of water and saw the flash of the transformer going down by the path.
ReplyDeleteMuch better now with heat...and computer.
No trees down on Upper Lakes yet, but I'm guessing that's just random luck and one could come down at any point. There are some pretty big branches that have come down, though, and lots of trees are seriously drooping. Never seen anything quite like it. So much for Reston's vaunted tree-canopy. All you need is a 100-year snow-storm and you have the potential to knock off a good percentage of them!
ReplyDeleteSouth Lakes High school parking lot is completely cleared - there were trucks driving around all last night keeping it open. For what, I don't know - South Lakes drive has a one-car path and lots of downed trees. Rumor has it 7-11 is open, maybe it was robbed again last night.
ReplyDeleteHere's a tip for avoiding falling in the ice which is what we will be dealing with for a while:
ReplyDeleteHere's a tip that I learned years ago when I had to go out and care for animals no mater what the weather. The problem is ice. You have absolutely no traction on ice and can fall and break bones etc. You can buy devices from such places as Cabellas that will slip over your shoes. But nobody has them when you need them. So here's what I did and it works very well:
Get little 1/2 inch screws- I like hex head ones. Screw four of them in the EDGES of your old boot or shoe (two on the edges if the ball and two in the edges of the heel) it won't hurt them and can be taken out. They will give you tremendous traction on ICE where you need it and keep from falling. Be sure and take them off when you come inside so as to not scratch up the floors.-Rod Koozmin
Day 2, 1:17 pm. The roads are becoming minimally passable. The imbeciles are out in force. I saw several cars with Dad, Mom and the infants trying to navigate the snow. There was also the dumass on in the 4X4 driving with his knees because he was buy using both hands to operate the videocamera. Also there was the idiot in the minivan who had cleared the front windshield, the driver's door and the window on the passenger's door but still had 2.5 feet of snow on the roof as well as several inches covering the rest of the sides and the back window.
ReplyDeleteGood news though. The Safeway at HWSC is open as are Ledo's and the Chinese restaurant and, I believe, also Buffalo's. Thank goodness there's someplace to watch the Colts beat up on the Saints.
Anybody want to start a pool on when FCPS reopens? Considering the next batch of snow is due on Tuesday afternoon, I'm betting school won't open again until next Monday.
Here's a interesting article in the Post about someone who lived in Reston in the seventies and their parents were CIA agents like my dad. After they are gone your left to wonder what they did. No one's telling.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/l/e7938;www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/02/AR2010020203887.html
Sometimes it takes a Cluster.
ReplyDeleteIt was great to be a part of a community today. The plow could not get the entire cluster. So today there were tons of volunteers who moved all the snow shovel by shovel. Now all the cars in the cluster can get out thanks to the power of team work and community.
Hickory Cluster rocks!
HCKD
At least and additional 3 to 6 inches are expected on Tuesday afternoon into Wednesday. You'll be able to get more Reston Ass.
ReplyDeleteWhoever the Convict in the Galaga (er, Gulag) is, I like how you think! Now where's my Dharma Initiative Window Defroster?
ReplyDeleteRod you are sharp as a hex-head screw! Thanks for the tip. Hey what's the quickest way to sharpen my mower blades for the Spring?
ReplyDeleteReston native Lloyd Woodson makes New Jersey news photo of the day
ReplyDeletehttp://photos.nj.com/star-ledger/2010/01/01-26-10_the_star-ledgers_phot_18.html
Lots of damage to trees in and around Charter Oak as well, and a few cars were damaged by falling branches. I'm eagerly awaiting our next storm on Tuesday and Wednesday (and the one after that!)
ReplyDeleteDay 3, 11:45 p.m.: The snowy overlords have manipulated the situation such that D.C. will close for another work day. I do not know how much more of this laziness and fun and pseudo-guilt I can take. Meanwhile, the pink elephants are breeding, and require sustenance. If only they could be trained to use a debit card at the 7-E. Alas...
ReplyDeleteWhite, crystalline infidels, no two of which are alike, I place a fatwa upon you!!!
David Fogle said...
ReplyDeleteRod you are sharp as a hex-head screw! Thanks for the tip. Hey what's the quickest way to sharpen my mower blades for the Spring?
Me: file them or otherwise sharpen them then balance them by hanging them on a nail and filing or otherwise remove some of the side that's too heavy. The hardest part is getting the blade off safely.
Great day today on our cul-de-sac the plows came through! Thank you Broad Run Contracting. I love your nimbly operated 4wheel drive ton trucks!