Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
I received a very unsettling surprise a few weeks ago when I received my census form in the mail. No, it was not the dreaded long form, but something much worse. As I was walking in with my mail that day, I happened to read, in detail, my address on the front of the envelope. My name, my number, my street, my unit number,… everything was kosher. Until I made it to the last line:There are no words.
Herndon, VA 20191
Herndon?! The Anti-Reston?! My surprise was so great I nearly dropped my Netflix DVD’s and my Money Mailer. Since that time, I have noticed the same results on many websites that automatically fill in city and state after you supply a ZIP code. I was wondering if any of my fellow 91’ers have noticed the same change or better yet, could provide me with some kind of explanation.
Doesn’t my$491$515 a year give me the right to say I’m from Robert Simon’s modern utopia and not from the congested, tree-hating independent city to our west? Can I still use the tennis courts and pools or do I have to watch my over my shoulder for the RA Gestapo to come by and burn all of my passes? Can I still save $5 on Reston Center Stage productions!?
I mean, I know I live in South Reston, but still…
“The Man Without a CDP”
I noticed this on the census form, too. I called the census telephone support line and they simply told me to cross out Herndon and write in Reston.
ReplyDeleteIt didn't sit all that well with me either.
Senor, we reconquistadores have taken over Herndon and now we are looking at you gringos to the east. Our hermanos already own Cocquinas. We would own Winterthur but your militia arrested our amigos.
ReplyDeleteYou asked us Latinos to participate in the Census. We are saying that now you should come to your census and recognize that soon there will be more of us than of you.
Viva el revoluccion latino! Viva el Herndon
Same for folks in North Reston... Herndon address.
ReplyDeleteI had a Herndon address in 20190 as well. Are absolutely CERTAIN not one Restonian will be counted as a Herndonian?
ReplyDeleteI left it in. If it gets Herndon extra money to enforce immigration laws and keeps it out of Reston, I'm all for it.
ReplyDelete20194 is, apparently, part of Herndon too. I did not send in my form since I don't live in Herndon!
ReplyDeleteAny trespasser who shows up at my Reston, 20194 door will be redirected to Herndon to count.
Can we bill Herndon for our $515???
ReplyDeleteYo no hablo espanol.
ReplyDeleteAs risk of taking seriously the "concerns" about Herdnon appearing on our census forms, I would add: remain calm, no need to brace for a crash. The ZIP code system was implemented in 1963. As we all know, there is no place named Reston, just as there is no Oak Hill, Fair Oaks, or Great Falls. When it comes to distributing mail, 201 identifies the region and the last two digits get the mail closer to our recycle bins. A central database somewhere ties a place name to the first three digits, but those who use those databases know that the associated name is not indicative of political boundaries. Reston is certainly not the only place to experience this. Hollywood, CA? No city/town charter, so it doesn't exist in the database. Parts of Washington, D.C. clearly within the district show Maryland names.
ReplyDeleteSo, relax, your covenants protection is firmly in place and there is no risk of soon seeing Mayor Richard Chew.
That would be Mayor Steven DeBenedittis who seems to be a little more enlightened than Richard Chew.
ReplyDeleteDeBenedittis is a racist son of a bitch!
ReplyDeleteWell, that SOB got somewhere. Chew did not. Like it or not.
ReplyDelete...Reston does not exist...we are all living a bad acid trip....
ReplyDeleteAnon 11:44
ReplyDeleteBecoming mayor of the Anti-Reston is going somewhere?
Really?
No, Really?
That's truly, deeply, pathetically sad.
Which is more pathetic: being the Mayor of Nowhere, or being the Nobody that elected the Mayor of Nowhere?
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Herndon, citizen.
This is my favorite comments exchange on the Restonian EVAR!!! Cannot stop laughing.
ReplyDelete