Meanwhile, in the Anti Anti-Reston: Columbia Named 2nd Best Place to Live in U.S.

Where's the outrage? Money Magazine just ranked Columbia, Maryland, our Satan-worshipping, Christmas-hating planned community doppelganger across the Potomac, the second best place to live in the nation. For some reason, Reston didn't make the list, even though according to the magazine's fancy interactive charts, we have higher income levels and lower taxes than Columbia, basically making us Ayn Rand's dream come true, except maybe for the rules about what colors you can paint your fences.

To be fair, Money paired Columbia with historic Ellicott City, Maryland -- but they also could have paired Reston with "historic" Herndon, what with its vintage bike path and seafarin' namesake who never set foot in the town. Here's what they had to say:

Columbia offers a wide range of housing, tons of parkland, and a major music venue.

A "major music venue" put Columbia over the top? Apparently, the key to quality-of-life nirvana is seeing Foghat and Lynyrd Skynyrd every summer. But wait -- there's more!

But those varied amenities are far from the only reasons this duo has risen to No. 2 from No. 8 in 2008. It's also an economic powerhouse with a jobless rate just as enviable as Eden Prairie's.

The nearby National Security Agency and the Fort Meade Army base together account for more than 8,000 jobs, and the government plans to move thousands more positions there by next year. Baltimore and D.C. are within commuting distance (30 and 60 minutes, respectively).

As for housing, the foreclosure rate is one of the lowest in Maryland, yet homes are affordable -- by Northeast standards, anyway. Factor in excellent schools and a diverse population (17% of residents are black, 14% Asian), and you can see why this place has become a magnet for families.

Adding insult to injury, nearby cloverleaf intersection Centreville was ranked #30 -- for no apparent reason.

This historic town (it has some Civil War sites) is a close-knit suburban community with a great location. Washington, D.C., is anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour and a half away, depending on traffic.

We'd go with an hour and a half.

Centerville is also 20 minutes from Herndon, Tysons Corner, and Reston.

So Centreville's main selling point is that it's only 20 minutes from Reston? Really?

With major shopping centers nearby and the Bull Run Mountains an hour's drive away, Centerville lives up to its name.

Note to factcheckers: We're not exactly sure the "Bull Run Mountains" are an hour away. But there's definitely some bull in this list.

Update: Reston was ranked #16 on the magazine's list of "top-earning towns," with a median income of $122,212. And also, Columbia appears to have changed the name of Satan's Wood Drive, but we're not fooled for an instant.