News and notes from Reston (tm).

Monday, November 8, 2010

Breaking: Holiday Season Apparently Imminent, Officials Urge Mindless Retailing as Response to Onslaught of Shiny Decorations

Screen shot 2010-11-08 at 12.50.09 PM.jpg
At first we were inclined to disagree, until we realized that Target has had Christmas stuff available for sale to a grateful public since well before Halloween. The Spectrum Center was next, putting its fancy holiday decorations up as the roadside campaign signs were being pulled down. And people have been skating at the Fake Downtown rink for like a week without appropriate decor to remind them to stop by the Apple store for some, whazzitcalled, iPods. So, all things considered, this *does* show some considerable restraint.

Guess it's time to start stocking up on those Macaroni Grill gift certificates for friends and loved ones.

Posted by Restonian at 12:54 PM

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34 comments:

  1. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    This guy is about as funny as a heart attack. Just give us the info and cut out the wannabe comedy act.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    Be sure to tip your waitresses! And try the veal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    To Anon 1:44pm...Plenty of us like the comedy act. You haven't followed this blog very long have you?

    If you prefer dry news, there are others places you can go for your up-to-the-minute Reston news.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    anon 1:44
    "just give us the info" - you mean the "info" about the holiday decorations? Although one can see the value in maintaining a sense of decorum when discussing giant fake wreaths and giant fake bows, you may want to lighten up. You must be a bunch of fun on a Sat night.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 4:38 PM

    I agree with the first poster. I don't find Restonian to be amusing at all. And all that stuff about the Macaroni Grill and the "fake downtown"...yes, we get it, you don't like them. Get some new material.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 4:53 PM

    Anon 4:38-It is called a running joke. I bet you also think Andy Rooney is amusing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Andy RooneyNovember 8, 2010 at 5:28 PM

    Anon 4:38 - If you look carefully, you'll see that the Macaroni Grill Doomsday Clock is at six minutes to midnight, so pretty soon...no more Macaroni Grill jokes. And since Restonian is always open to humorous contributions, we'll look forward to yours.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 7:12 PM

    Anon 4:53
    I think anon 4:38 is Andy Rooney. Ooops is Andy Rooney dead? either way, I think its Andy Rooney.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousNovember 8, 2010 at 9:27 PM

    I like Restonian, it's the snarky anonymous posters that are annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 6:20 AM

    Anon 4:53

    Andy Rooney? That's waaaaay before my time. I have no idea who that is. I know what a running joke is, but even running jokes have to be funny. And I dont see anything funny about the macaroni grill. It's just another restaurant like many others. Did he get bad service there at one point?

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 8:22 AM

    Has the clock moved?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 9, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    For Anon 6:20 and/or others who may be new to this filthy Website, here is a list of running jokes on Restonian:

    1. The phrase "filthy Website"
    2. The awesome particleboard McMansions of Loudoun County
    3. Our awesome fake downtown
    4. The word "awesome"
    5. Red mulch and white stones (don't ask)
    6. All the new-fangled technology "the kids" use, including "the twitters", the "Book of Faces", the "Yoo-Hoo Tubes", and "cell-u-lar tele-pho-ny"
    7. A "juicery" for any new rec center
    8. The Macaroni Grill and its glorious cuisine

    Restonian regulars -- am I forgetting anything?

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Convict in the GulagNovember 9, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    Here's a Holiday present to 1:44 and 4:38 straight from the denizens of the South Reston Penal Colony:

    (__)*(__)

    Did you guess what it is? Why, it's the moon! And in just your size: X-Lg.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    Restonian provides timely community info wrapped in some really valued self-deprecating humor that is absolutely essential in this self-important community.

    Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    Anon 6:20: The phrase "Macaroni Grill" is absurd. Aspects of Reston itself are absurd. Restonian snarkily (but affectionately) points out the absurdity while dispensing commentary on Reston news.

    Lots of us like it. If you have a different idea for a Reston-based blog, go for it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    I've posted here maybe 3 times. Check in every now & then because I like the Restonian's smartbutt humor & I agree with the other very anon people if you don't get the humor go elsewhere .I will at least i.d. myself as a SAHM who's taking a laundry break . Really , like we don't have enough crabby, negative people in No.Va already ? Geeeeez. Spread the "love" elsewhere .

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    Hey, The Convict in the Gulag

    Stay in south reston where you belong, with the rest of the delinquents and dregs of society. If you have to explain what the ASCII art is, then it's pretty much crap. And I agree with those two posters that this guy is as funny as finding a turd in your punch bowl.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    Wow, the folks at Patch are in a cranky mood these days.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Reston PatchNovember 9, 2010 at 4:30 PM

    Patch here. Don't pick on my BFF Restonian.

    ReplyDelete
  20. A. NussNovember 9, 2010 at 7:50 PM

    Careful with that artwork, convict, you may get somebody who posts here rather aroused

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Convict in the GulagNovember 9, 2010 at 8:08 PM

    As long as we don't have to live with humorless gits like you, 3:26, I'll be happy to remain on my side of the DMZ.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 9, 2010 at 8:46 PM

    Re anon 3:26's comment: My nom de pluume says it all -- damn proud to be a delinquent and dreg of society!

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Convict in the GulagNovember 9, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    And that's some might find plumage you've got there, Peasant.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 9, 2010 at 9:25 PM

    Thank you, Convict. Birds of a South Reston feather always flock together.

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousNovember 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    Funny as a turd in a punch bowl? I think Restonian humor is closer to a Baby Ruth in the pool.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Dr. Awesome "Russet" BrownNovember 12, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    Why would people visit a blog they don't like to read a post they don't like to make a comment about humor they don't like. Me? I heart restonian.org and all it's awesomeness!

    ReplyDelete
  27. HCKDNovember 14, 2010 at 12:48 AM

    Peasant,

    I'd just add that the 1:44 troll who is also just sock puppeting the later posts should go to Macaroni Grill and stuff his stupid fat face full of all it can eat bread sticks and never ending bowls of pasta.

    The End.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousNovember 15, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    The Macaroni Grill's AYCE pasta bowl has got to be better than that warmed over Crap du Bird's Eye from Mont Martre.

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousNovember 16, 2010 at 10:00 PM

    There isn't one Caddyshack fan who posts on Restonian? I thought my Baby Ruth in the pool post would get some love, but no, this really is just a filthy web blog.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The GreenskeeperNovember 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    "License to kill gophers by order of the United States Government."

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousNovember 18, 2010 at 5:55 PM

    Anon 6:20
    "It's just another restaurant like many others."

    You do get it.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousNovember 18, 2010 at 7:29 PM

    "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousNovember 18, 2010 at 7:40 PM

    So I said, "Hey Llama! How about a little something for, you know, the effort?" And he said, "There won't be any tip. But when you die, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that going for me.

    Which is nice.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Judge Elihu SmallsNovember 18, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    It's easy to grin,
    When your ship has come in
    And you've got the stock market beat.
    But the man worthwhile
    Is the man who can smile
    When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

    ReplyDelete

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