Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
Names are destiny -- or something similarly badass we think we remember from the movie 300 or maybe Teletubbies 3D. Anyhoo, there's been lots of talk about picking good names for the three Reston-area Metro stations to help define their "identity," inasmuch as midscale chain retail and parking garages can have an identity, and the lists above came from a meeting last month. Descriptive, perhaps, but they don't exactly "pop," do they?
Below are a few suggestions for station names with a bit more "zzyzz," as the kids today don't say.
Mauve Gulch
Civic Plaza/Bennetons Station
Bollardville
Reston East/National Museum of Rad '80s Art
Reston Parkway
Gritty Urban Core/Unos Station
Targetville North
Macaroni Grill South
RA Headquarters Station*
(*pending foreclosure proceedings)
Herndon-Monroe
Vulgartown
Grand Green Boulevard/Pei Wei Station
Crumblin' Parkin' Garage
Li'l Bavaria Shopping Center/Downtown Herndon
LOL!
ReplyDeleteShouldn't it be "Fanciful Bollardville"?
I'd like to suggest "Fake Downtown Reston" for Reston Parkway. Targetville North has a certain ring to it though.
Some dude on Twitter suggested "Ebola-B-Gone" for Wiehle Avenue. I prefer "Welcome to the Monkeyhouse," myself.
ReplyDeleteHow about "Prius Parking Only" for the grant Wiehle parking garage, courtesy of the largesse of Fairfax County
ReplyDelete"Herndon" should not appear in the final Metro stop. The parking is in Reston and the town of Herndon isn't helping out with traffic issues. Maybe a name of "Day Laborers Who Commute Station" would be nice?
ReplyDeleteMy suggestions:
ReplyDeleteComstock Calamity--for the UGLIEST development this side of Crystal City at Wiehle.
Developers' Dream--for the intense, office-centric, congestion-inducing, infrastructure-less, non-residential development proposed at Reston Parkway
WTF!--for the area near Monroe. No plan, no Herndon cooperation, no nothin'!
"Li'l Bavaria". I like it and I totally understand its impact as such a name. I drove past it after 20 odd years in Europe and said "What the F....?!" My mother and I refer to it as "Faux Bavaria". Rather like "Faux News". (Sorry: that's "Fox News" to you in 20147....)
ReplyDeleteweihle ave has to be McTacohut!
ReplyDeleteSmyersville is just fine for the Parkway.
since "herndon-monroe" is still within the reston boundary, it should be Reston West/Polo.
Don't forget that there's money to be made by letting local Universities (or a convincing facsimile) tack their names onto stations. They pay for that right on the rest of the metro system, right? Wiehle could be "Reston East/NOVA/Marymount at Suicide W&OD Crossing". And if the University of Phoenix can sponsor the Arizona Cardinals' stadium, surely they can pony up for the naming rights to "Reston Center - Phoenix U West", don't you think? As for Herndon, do they have any universities? Or residents who have attended one?
ReplyDeleteGreat idea 11:11... How about the Reston Land Use College Station??
ReplyDeleteWiehle Avenue: Instead of Mauve Gulch, how about "Red Mulch Gulch" to stick it to the (DRB)man?
ReplyDeleteReston Parkway: In honor of our recently uprooted and much-beloved commenter on the charms of Reston Town Center, how about "BiCO Urban Nightmare"?
Herndon-Monroe: In honor of Dear Leader, how about "Simon Says Stop", as in "stop, you're leaving Reston"?
I myself prefer something simple like Larry, Curly and Mo. In that same vain, we could also name them Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.
ReplyDelete