Photo Shocker: Beware the Loch Anne Monster

First zombies, now this: a Confidential Restonian Operative sent us this highly credible cellular telephone photograph of the unspeakable horror lurking beneath the surface of Lake Anne. The so-called photographic "experts" we hired at great personal expense who suggested that this might be equipment involved with the ongoing dredging process at the lake have been summarily stripped of their photographic expert credentials and subjected to public humiliation because, really, what else could it be but a bloodthirsty yet appropriately earth-toned sea serpent, the end.