Our Top 10 Reston Places, and Some Familiar Faces

Dear Leader recently told one of the fancy printed out "web logs" newspapers serving our community about the ten places in Reston he'd show an out-of-town guest. They include various brutalist pieces of art like Lake Anne's concrete boat and pyramid, examples of mixed-use and cluster development, and appropriately, the Embry Rucker homeless shelter, the Nature House, and RCC's Center Stage -- all unique things about our beloved earth-toned community. He even calls Fountain Square in the Fake Downtown gritty urban core "a perfect example of a plaza." Just don't tell these folks!

We sincerely like Mr. Simon's list. Of course, our own Restonian Top 10 might be just a little different. For the second time in as many weeks, roust Kasey Kasem from his money pile of Scooby Doo residuals, because we're counting them down, and the earth-toned hits don't stop until we get to the top!

10. The Metal Bob statue. Modesty surely kept Mssr. Simon from mentioning what is seriously a nice, human-scaled tribute to the man that built this city.

9. The Great Hole of Reston, better known as the Reston Station construction site. Soon fanciful concrete bollards will watch over the site like the statues of Easter Island, confounding tourists and commuters alike.

8. Maria's Passion Paradise*
(*German and Japanese tour groups only)

7. Terraset Elementary, to see a rational, energy-efficent future that never was. And also to pay homage to the Mole People.

6. McTacoHut, for an immersive fast-food experience that even the Mall of America food court can't beat.

5. RA Headquarters, better known as the Aegean Stables of Filing Cabinetry.

4. The Green Forest Nudist Colony, Reston's original Lost Colony, Colonial Williamsburg, and Moulin Rouge all rolled into one.

3. The Apple Store, Gap, Unos, and all the other unique boutiques that can only be found in our Gritty Urban Core (and the 10,000 other MSAs/DMAs that meet the appropriate demographic and psychographic metrics, as well as ample off-street parking).

2. Tall Oaks Shopping Center, known to retail historians throughout the world as the "graveyard of international food stores."

1. The Macaroni Grill. Was there any doubt on this one? Like Venice, people simply need to see it before it sinks beneath the waves is converted into a mixed-use wonderland, the end.