Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
A Confidential Restonian Operative who needs a better flash sent us this exciting photo warning denizens of the area around Glade and Quartermaster that the RA, in the true spirit of the holidays, is celebrating the end of the year by searching "natural areas" for "leaves, branches or grass clippings" in order to cite "adjacent property owners" with "violations." Or, in RA terms, a 'wassailing they will go, the end.
How will they know which leaves and sticks came from the trees, which came from adjoining property owners, . . . and which came from some crafty neighbor down the street who didn't want to get caught putting his debris near his lot?
ReplyDelete...and happy holidays to all, including RA!
Every tree, leaf and twig has been numered, tagged and logged into our massive database. Don't try anything foolish, we know everything -- and WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.
ReplyDeleteHave a conforming holiday -- or else.
Hey RA,
ReplyDeleteLet's put that into seasonally appropriate verse:
We know when you've been sleeping,
We know when you're awake,
We know when you've painted your walls blue
So you better paint 'em mauve, for goodness sake!
You're welcome.
If they want to inspect my natural areas, they better buy me dinner and take me to a movie first.
ReplyDeleteIn the early years when we first moved here, my husband used to refer to RHOA as the THOUGHT POLICE.
ReplyDeleteEven though they changed their name to RA, they know all.
Oh sure, everybody have fun at our expense -- but where would you be without us!
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, forget that last part.
Resistance is futile... you will be assimilated.
ReplyDeleteYou have been assimilated...
ReplyDeleteAnd let it be known that the inspectors are noting violators who might only be a foot or two in violation past virtual RA markers ...I call them virtual, in that they are no longer physically present. And the inspectors, while very nice, blithely suggest that homeowners might get their own land re-surveyed and replace the markers... but isn't it RA's responsibility to maintain their own markers?
ReplyDelete(It's clear that I need to revisit the "So you've just surrendered your dignity and bought a home in Reston" handbook I received upon indoctrination, tattoo branding, chip implantation, etc. Surely I've overlooked the bit about homeowner responsibility regarding the re-establishment of long-gone "R" markers using locally-sourced, non-invasive, indigenous stone-carving tools.)
So get out there folks and shift those woodpiles a good three feet to get clear of the future laser beam markers. Do they make laser lights in russet brown?
"Every breath you take, every move you make ... RA will be watching you."
ReplyDeleteHmmm. The brush pile on my little corner of heaven was built at the behest of Vernon Walker, back when RA was RHOA. Honder if my sticks are grandfathered?
ReplyDelete