Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
Hey, would you like to see another Action McNews story about a frostbitten spider monkey? Of course you would!
But loose animals weren't the only odd things afoot in Reston last night. There was a robbery at the gas station across from Lake Anne Village Center, a major accident in South Reston, and, apparently, some kind of fire at one of our favorite
In a cynical failed public relations effort to rebuild credibility with its world-wide fan base, the Reston Zoo announced that sacrficial goats would be slaughtered in honor of hosting Egypt's new Muslim Brotherhood President at the dedication of Reston Zoo's new P.E.T.A.-sponsored Fine Young Cannibals Animal Columbarium, which is also state-approved as a final repository of urns bearing the ashes of Reston's founding pioneers citizens. The goats, however, were having none of that and sought immediate refuge at the nearest diplomatic mission: the Reston home of the Consulate General from Zanzibar.
ReplyDeleteWhy couldn't it have been Carrabba's that caught fire?
ReplyDeleteThat photo of the goats brings back memories of the Peasant's sojourn years ago in the nether regions of the Balkans whilst in the employ of Uncle Sam. Travelling the backroads of Bosnia with Mrs. Peasant and our faithful Man Friday Mr. Sutko, we happened upon a small zoo in the town of Doboj that could have been the clone of the Reston Zoo. As we wandered about in this zoological garden of earthly delights, a herd of young goats came ambling towards us, much to the consternation of Mrs. Peasant, who thought said goats were about to commit mayhem upon us. We escaped the legendary Killer Goats of Doboj intact, much as we hope alert Twitter operative Mr. OhSoFly did last night after photographing these demonic minions of Satan.
ReplyDeleteCan someone confirm/deny the Chik-Fil-A fire?
ReplyDeleteIn Fairfax county, when an established merchant suddenly gets hit with a bunch of violations, it means a developer wants his land. Please remember that last time Reston Zoo got smacked, last time Reston Farm Market (the one on Baron Cameron) got smacked, half their acreages ended up as new, modern eyesores.
ReplyDeleteThe only one I can recall successfully resisting the bureaucratic assault is the dude who owns the driving range on Hunter Mill. He had to spend many weeks in the hoosegow over a zoning "violation," until the Washington Post embarrassed the county supervisors into cutting him lose.
Restonian, perhaps you should start a countdown clock for the Reston Zoo.