News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Behold the New Hawtness of Tysons Corner, Same as the Old Hawtness

Tysons III.jpeg

Assuming you find anecdotes about billionaire developers cute, there's a cute story in the Post today about two development titans going to a Nationals game and carving up Tysons as if they were approaching the endgame in a midnight dorm-room game of Risk maybe discussing their plans for "Fairfax County's downtown." In sum, the approach appears to be of the "stick big tall buildings next to the low-rise shopping malls and allow hilarity to ensue" variety. In other words, more of the same for Tysons, fancy Wal-Mart on the other side of "town" notwithstanding.

Behold the edgy urban vibe we'll soon be experiencing:
A proposed 50,000-square-foot plaza is intended to allow easy connections between the mall and the new buildings, and Coppola envisions promotions and incentives linked by all four. Fans of the American Girl store, for instance, may be offered discounts on hotel or restaurant bills. Employers in the office building may use the AMC theater for corporate video conferences. The plaza may host weddings or events in conjunction with the hotel.
Got to be honest. Tysons may have a Cheesecake Factory, but we like our awesome parallelograms better than theirs.

Posted by Restonian at 4:31 PM

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5 comments:

  1. Mean Daddy DJuly 31, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    I think it's pretty cool, though, that the residential tower comes equipped with an Olympic size Suicide Diving Platform for Arrogant Under Achievers That Wear Cracker Box Bling Grills Imprinted With the American Flag (also known as the Ryan Lochte Tysons Corner Underwater Mortgage Jump Site) for the arrogant fools that will like WAAAYYY overpay for their condos in this monstrosity. Interestly, when the banks start foreclosing on these wannabe be Vanilla Ice rap star braggadocio buyers, their Ryan Lochte suicide jumps will land them at the doorstep of De Beers at Tysons Galleria for a diamond studded bloody nose ring bling 4th place finish.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 1, 2012 at 1:07 AM

    i hear rumors from nbc and twitter employees that tysons corner will host the 2024 summer olympic games. start reserving your hotel rooms now!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 1, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    Is the Tysons Walmart behind this behemoth?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousAugust 2, 2012 at 10:06 AM

      Believe it's on the far side of Tysons, near the Toll Road. But you could always take the Metro from one oversized, overcongested shopping center to the other oversized, overcongested shopping center!

      Delete
  4. The Java MasterAugust 2, 2012 at 1:09 AM

    Next foreclosure hot spot: the future condos of Tysons. Just another bubble ready to pop as soon as the New Urbanism in the Suburbs is completed.

    ReplyDelete

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