Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
We're still in the middle of the dog days of summer, so what better visuals to greet us as we begin our monthly video exploration of all things Reston than an empty, dug-out pool in which no hot children will play, ever, this summer? Not even Andy Sigle's dulcet tones can take away the Sad of seeing the gutted Dogwood Pool, which will not open this season due to ongoing delays. Zero depth entry pool, fountain jets, and a spray and play area -- all of that Awesome will just have to wait. Good thing there are a few other pools in Reston we can go to in a pinch!
Hey, good news! Turns out you can get your driver's license from an RV parked in front of Reston Town Center. Why RTC? Because as the one part of Reston not governed by the RA, it's the only place where the DMV was actually allowed to park an RV. We'll be sure to bring the Winnebago by for a visit the next time the DMV's in town. Do they have septic hookups near the Mercury Fountain?
There's also some stuff about exotic invasive plants and the Weed Warriors and whatnot, but we weren't really paying attention because we were really rattled by a brief snippet of video:
And with that, we're left to confront the end of yet another summer, as our time on this planet grows inexorably shorter as darkness comes sooner with each passing day. Happy summer!
Yes, the ever ball of excitement that is Mr. Sigle truly missed his calling in life. He should have been a telephone suicide prevention counselor. 10 seconds into a phone call with Andy and he would have had any person threatening suicide fall off into a deep nod. Eventually, he would have probably been hired by NASA to provide the glittering blow-by-blow of every grain of Martian sand rolled over by Curiosity.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for the RA video of the month featuring Andy in which he announces the latest attempt at the economic salvation of Tall Oak Village Center: A Sikh Temple-owned Chick-fil-a designed to look just like the Century 16 Theater in Aurora, Colorado. This announcement might actually compel Andy reach for operatic heights with his trademark dulcet tone.
Look, I’m sure Andy is a nice guy. Any guy that wears early 90s pleated pants from Burlington is a nice guy. But the RA obviously needs to bring some excitement to its cinematic features. Looking at the RA’s Youtube channel reveals that most of their riveting documentaries barely net a couple of hundred views, which is likely explained by Andy and his Mom repeatedly clicking the reply button until Wheel of Fortune comes on. The RA needs to hire that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo kid. That girl could make invasive plant species overtaking Reston sound like a full scale Martian invasion backed by Iran.
I love it! Andy Siegle as Cary Grant in North by North Point, the local remake of North by Northwest. In the Reston version, however, when the cropdusting plane comes for Andy he runs to and fro in a desperate but ultimately futile search for a corn field to hide in, not realizing the last farmland in Fairfax County was plowed under 40 years ago. Finally, Andy escapes by diving into a field of overgrown invasive garlic mustard -- just as Tom Vis come by with that humongous WMD (weedwhacker of mass defoliation) on his shoulder and destroys Andy's hiding place. Hilarity ensues as Andy gets sprayed with Cathy Hudgins Section 8 Wacky Dust but manages to escape. Pursued by the DRB Antichrist Ron Paul in the climactic chase scene, Andy scrambles over the Mercury Fountain and various IPAR installations where he is saved by The Professor, i.e., Bob Simon. The screen fades to black as a Silver Line train enters the Tysons tunnel and Robin Smyers gives him a sultry come-hither look.
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