Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
An action shot of our gritty urban core, minus the garbage truck fires, opens this, the October edition of Reston Today. Andy Sigle is as always our dulcet-toned Virgil, guiding us through B-roll footage of recent earth-toned action in our fair community. We learn how seniors can get into a "relatively new movie" at the (vastly improved, no longer frightening) RTC Bowtie Cinemas for free once a month. We learn that 200 kids participated in the 2012 Reston Kids Triathlon, good for them, and finally, we meet the Front Porch Singers, who "bring joy to local residents" through their music (even with banjos involved). And then, 5 minutes and 16 seconds after we began this odyssey, we're out, staring numbly at the "related videos" links and wondering what to do next with our lives.
All these things are very nice, but you'd think that the RA might want to share some news about… some news. It's not like anything's happened in the last month or so, or that the RA is taking a more active role in such things.
"It's not like anything's happened in the last month or so, or that the RA is taking a more active role in such things."
ReplyDeleteWell, actually something did happen last month. You see, Andy is standing on the path that passes by Lake Thoreau. Last month the RA contracted with BP to drill an exploratory well through the 8,957 feet of geologically compressed layers of goose poop and urban runoff that have collected at the bottom of lake during the past 10,000,000 years. It turns out the bottom layer of goose poop and lawn fertilizer has turned to oil. The RA plans build a pipeline that will extend from the bottom of Lake Thoreau to Lake Anne. Oil will then be tranfered between the lakes in an effort to raise the sea level of Lake Anne so that the RELAC chillers will have enough water to cool Lake Anne residences in time for the coming cold winter.
...I'm just joking...actually, the RA decided to drop the water level of Lake Newport by shifting water from that lake to Lake Anne...right...I'm just kidding about that one, too...that second idea is really silly...the RA would never do something THAT silly...right?
What news? Don't you know that "nothing ever happens here" according to the neighbor's teenagers...
ReplyDeleteMean Daddy,
ReplyDeleteYa heard wrong - they're going to drain Lake Thoreau in order to find the Loch Ness Monster. The Lake Anne area will be torn up to investigate rumors that Jimmy Hoffa is buried under the water fountain.