Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
Pull your kids out of school and gather them around the YouTubes machine to watch this exciting time-lapse video of the doins' at Reston Station. If you imagine they have little plastic faces and annoying British accents, it's almost like watching an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine, if all the Very Useful Engines were stuck single-tracking in a tunnel under the Potomac because of a "track fire."
But that's not all! Reston Station has one-upped its cross-town competitor in crafting exciting marketing prose to draw in the upwardly mobile, possibly hipster, apartment dweller to its BLVD apartments:
For residents, Reston Station's exceptional convenience is matched only by the premier comfort and style offered in the community's luxury homes. With up to 850 upscale apartments and condominiums, including dedicated workforce housing units, these appealing residences represent metropolitan living at its best-with abundant amenities and trend-setting design.That all sounds good, but you say you want a vowel in your building's name? Vowels are for owners, not renters, silly wage slave! You'll want to spring for a condo -- the Momentum condos, which are coming in 2015. We like motion, and vowels, so sign us up, the end.
BLVD | Reston Station, a 450-unit building, features studio, one-bedroom, and two-bedroom apartments.
• Tenants will enjoy:
• Club rooms, rooftop pool, fitness center, activity center, and business center
• Garage parking
• Premium units on the 20th floor with gas cooking, fireplaces, and tall ceilings
• Stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, tile bathrooms, 9 ½-foot ceilings
• LEED®-certified, energy-efficient design
They forgot to mention that their new digs will be conveniently located within walking distance to the McTacoHut!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget the thrilling views of the toll road from your living room window.
ReplyDeleteVowels are lame old man! http://www.restonian.org/2013/03/welcome-to-big-time-reston-band.html
ReplyDeleteThat view to the toll booth plazas must be breathtaking!
ReplyDeleteDitto to all the above comments.
ReplyDeleteThrow open those LEED-certified energy efficient windows on a nice spring day. Hear the traffic roar, soak in the exhaust fumes from the Toll Road, catch the sweet aroma of belching diesel engines, and listen to the melodic tones of unintelligible sounds emanating from Metro's PA system.
And another thing. Do the less than premium units on floors 1 through 19 have to make do with coal stoves for cooking?
"Dedicated workforce housing units" and premium condos in the same building. So burglars can commute to work by elevator.
ReplyDeleteDear ScubaDiver, thanks for calling all blue collar workers in our area criminals. Glad you really buy into your town's efforts to allow all citizens to live there.
ReplyDeleteI welcome your response.