Lightpocalypse Now: DRB Approves Lights For Brown's Chapel Ballfield, Targets Nearby Houses With Occult Laser Beam

We've joked about the DRB launching drones to track down scofflaws with piles of red mulch in inaccessible backyards, but this fancy image that the Reston Association posted to the "Face Book," presumably from some secret document hidden in the safe room far below the DRB offices, suggests they've gone one step further, using one of the Brown's Chapel Park ballfields as the nexus of some sort of "frikkin laser beam," ready to unleash havoc, or at least thinly diffused light, on any nearby homes that step out of line. (Fortunately, Restonian World Headquarters is more than 1,040 feet away from the site, so our collection of outdoor lawn statuary will remain unmolested for now.)

But we digress. Not since a lesser-known ballpark inconveniently not under the purview of DRB regulations added lighting has there been a more exciting development in baseball, or HOA covenants… or both! Give us some good blockquote, RA press release:

The Reston Association Design Review Board unanimously approved ball field lighting for the Brown’s Chapel #1 Little League field.

This will be the first ball field subject to RA covenants to be lighted and it is an exciting development for the growing population of Little League baseball players in Reston, said RA’s Director of Parks and Recreation, Larry Butler.

The six-pole lighting will be installed later this summer in anticipation of having the first game on the second weekend of September.

In its June 18 decision, the DRB recognized the collaborative discussions between RA, Reston Little League, neighboring residents and clusters to come up with solutions to concerns brought up in earlier meetings. The lights will be used during the spring and fall Little League seasons, which run from April through June and September through October, respectively. The lights will have a hard shut-off time at 9 p.m. RA deferred the parking lot and concession stand lighting to develop a more appropriate solution than first proposed.

The decision had been postponed to address concerns from nearby residents, but judging by the image above, the RA has found a way to keep the systems in line, the end.