The Truth is Out There: Yet Another UFO Spotted Over Reston

This shocking Twitter cellular telephone photo captures the spectacle that astonished Restonians on an otherwise tranquil Friday afternoon, as a blimp lazily sailed over Reston Town Center. Clearly having found smaller drones incapable of identifying illicit stockpiles of red mulch and white stone, the DRB has apparently decided to bring out the big guns, using the U.S. Navy's mapping activities as a smokescreen for its own clandestine efforts to identify an even more nefarious scourge: leaves and grass clippings discarded into common areas, the end.