DC Hipster Discovers Quaint Community at End of Silver Line; Hilarity Does Not Ensue

A presumably piercing-laden hipster "web logger" from the City Paper decided to explore the strange land at the far end of the Silver Line. And -- wait for it -- it apparently wasn't sufficiently urbane for sophisticated city folk:

With a Metro stop right on it, Wiehle Avenue will surely be the next “it” spot for D.C. residents looking to meander across Virginia’s concrete and sprawling countryside. I spent a whirlwind 36 minutes on Wiehle Avenue visiting all the hotspots and can now share where to go next time you take the Silver Line to the end of Phase 1.

Country mice that we are, we believe we detect a tinge of sarcasm here. Hey, wait a minute, that's our job!

After (accurately) describing the harrowing task of crossing Wiehle Avenue, the author of this piece visits the epicenter of Reston culture, the McTacoHut. Let's pick up the travelogue there:

The food options on Wiehle Avenue are all conveniently located in one enclave (i.e. parking lot) across from the quaint Fairfax County fire station. There’s a McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell, each with their own drive-through window. Upon first glance, it’s easy to mistake the Pizza Hut and Taco Bell for a combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell, but they each have their own airy restaurants, and the Taco Bell is just pushed back and not visible from Wiehle Avenue. I’d recommend dining at Taco Bell because, geographically, it’s the hidden gem of the three. And from 2 to 5 p.m. at Taco Bell, it’s Happy Hour, which gets you a drink, slushy, and loaded griller for $1 each. I ordered two drinks, a soft taco, cheesy gordita crunch, quesadilla, and nacho cheese Doritos Locos taco all for $10—a price that can’t be found at any D.C. taco food truck.

Joke's on you -- we have food trucks, too! At least a couple of days a week, sometimes. But when they do show up, they announce their presence via Twitter, like we're in the freaking Silicon Valley or something. Excelsior!

After pointing out that the "skinny" W&OD trail has a sign about identifying ticks -- but missing the fact that we Restonians have our own unique way of dealing with them -- our intrepid traveller from a Land Before Mauve discovers some "live entertainment":

While on Wiehle Avenue, make sure to listen to the sound of suburban youth culture. Every couple dozen cars on the busy avenue will yield one vehicle, manned by a youth, with its windows down and indiscernible rap music emitting from its speakers. These sounds are widely considered to be the anthem of Wiehle Avenue.

Guilty as charged. Don't forget the Greatest Reston Video Ever Made, which -- coincidentally -- includes scenes shot in the Wiehle McTacoHut complex. But are they seriously suggesting that no one plays the "rap music," as the kids today almost certainly don't say, in DC proper?

And finally, our daring explorer visits Isaac Newton Square, which is apparently not sufficiently square to city folks' liking:

But step behind the sign, and there is no square or ode to Isaac Newton, just a massive parking lot with scattered office buildings throughout. Take a walk around and see if you can figure out why this square is named after Newton. (Google yields no immediate answers.)

Maybe not, but Google surely would have pointed out the most interesting spot in the square, one that is as fresh as today's headlines.

All in all, we learned a lot! To return the favor, maybe we'll Metro down to, say, Federal Triangle and point out all the edgy, cosmopolitan things you can do there, like, we dunno, buy an "authentic" $5 FBI T-shirt from a street vendor or stare at tourists taking pictures of lampposts, the end.