It's Like They Know Us! Reston Gets Run Through The Consumer Segmentation Shredder, Again

Know yourself, the ancient Greeks said. Know your preselected sociodemographic consumer segment, which determines your propensity to buy various products and lease European import automobiles, the much more savvy consumer marketers said.

We had just managed to figure out if we were "urban chic," an "enterprising professional" or "top tier" (spoiler alert: nope) when we came across this helpful brochure explaining exactly who we, as frequent visitors to Reston's gritty urban core and its vibrant midscale chain dining and retail, are. It was like holding up a PDF of a mirror to our very pocketbooks souls:

The resemblance is uncanny. How did they know we celebrate the arrival of the monthly Google AdSense check by toasting with Dom Perignon?

But enough about us. What about the rest of Reston? Apparently, you fall into one of three segments. The first?

"Chic sophisticates." Heh. Guess Reston counts as a "Li'l City" (with the requisite "L'il DRB regulations.") We definitely know all about those "swank homes filled with the latest technology":

Top-of-the-line 14-inch console teevee, haters. Boo-yah!

Now, on to the second segment:

Those "legendary soccer moms and dads" may be "kid-obsessed," but they're not in all that many Colonials -- and they're definitely not buying all that many of these dolls.

But if you're not a soccer parent or a chic sophisticate, where does that leave you? Right here, in the Winner's Circle:

Way to go, Reston -- maybe even semi-super! That's something to feel good about while you're holed up in your home office, answering the 99th work email sent after 9pm, instead of livin' the midscale dream at RTC with all the Brite Lites Li'L Citiers and Upward Bounders (assuming their babysitters can pick Junior up at the soccer game), the end.