Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
Forget BLVD. Vowel-free living is for renters, silly rabbits! Apparently the new development hawtness for 2016 is inscrutable abbreviations, as we're seeing in the rapidly rising new section of Reston Heights, which apparently stole a (sometimes) vowel from the apartment complex on the other, apparently more Welsh, side of the Toll Road.
That's right, the new mixed-use development rising from the ashes of the not-quite-a-multiplex-turned-midscale chain diner and 7-11 won't be known as "Chilis II: Electric Boogaloo," or even "Popeye's View" as we had hoped. Instead, it will be called -- wait for it -- VY. Give us some good marketing-speak blockquote, BFFs at Reston Now:
VY is an abbreviation of very, and creates a unique word that allows us to inject further meaning into it when the marketing campaign is launched. Once the name VY is inserted within the context of the brand, it will evoke the vitality and velocity of this new addition to Reston Heights.Funny, we thought it was shorthand for "vie," as in "you'll vie with approximately 30,000 other harried drivers to get to Reston Parkway once this gets built."
It's all about the #brands, people. But why stop there? From a marketing perspective, the rest of Reston is looking as tired as a shag-carpeted conversation pit (also on offer in many of our finer neighborhoods). It's time for a major rebrand:
At $350/hr for creative branding consulting, that comes to approximately $5.14 in pro bono work. You're welcome, Reston, you're welcome.Reston Town Center: GRTTY
Reston National Golf Course: (tie) Barrister's Delight or THS SPC VLBL
Hunters Woods: HY (short for "HY nuisance crime rates")
South Lakes Village Center: Pirates' Cove
Tall Oaks Village Center: (blank space)
North Reston: Moneybags emoji
South Reston: Reston's Dixieland
That other part of Reston: The '190
Lake Anne: That emoji of a dollar sign with wings flapping away
RA: That emoji of a dollar sign with wings flapping away
Inject further meaning into "FU"
ReplyDeleteFrancis Underwood? Felix Unger? Francis Urquhart?
DeleteDevelopers are looking to "inject" a lot more than further meaning into that empty space across Sunrise Valley from VY.
ReplyDelete"It will evoke the vitality and velocity of this new addition to Reston Heights."
ReplyDeleteOne word: BARF!
Two words: Oy Vy!
DeleteGood news, Restonians! Hearing of our plight, the Finnish towns of Kankaanpaa, Haapajarvi, and Uusikaupinki have generously offered their excess vowels to us. Any not needed here will be donated to the Welsh town of Crymmych.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea; just a slight modification: the name is Uusikaupunki.
DeleteReston's always been in need of a good vowel movement...
ReplyDeleteVY UGLY
ReplyDelete