Revenge of the Machines: Utility Failures Around Reston Weirdly Intensify

For the second time in a week, a gas leak shut down a major roadway in our beloved earth-toned community for hours, this time on Sunrise Valley Drive. That follows yesterday's fun-filled transformer explosion on Personal Injury Lawyers Road that our favorite correspondent, The Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston, told us started a small ground fire. He writes:

According to the fire captain on the scene, this was not the only electrical incident ongoing at the time; he mentioned a problem with the Dominion substation near Hunter Station as well as one affecting Herndon. We are left to ask: has North Korea hacked our power grid?

Math checks out, as the kids said as recently as a month ago.

And of course, there's that rabid fox hanging around "Great" Falls. Maybe it's biding its time, waiting for the machines to fail us before swooping in.

We hate to say it, but this is what happens when people don't want to Make Reston Great Again, the end.