Reston Not Hip Hotspot, Like Crystal City, But We're Holding Our Own

We are shocked, just shocked we tell you, that Reston was somehow overlooked in Washingtonian's list of the five hottest neighborhoods in Washington. You'd think when a godforsaken concrete hellhole like Crystal City is being touted as the next Brooklyn by no less of an expert than the New York Times, we'd have a pretty good shot at making that list.

But there is good news after all. We may not be hip, but our home values are "holding steady", as illustrated by this colorful cartoony map that must be giving the folks at the DRB night terrors even as we speak. Never mind that we all thought they'd double or quintuple or whatever after the Metro showed up -- and maybe they would have if Metro hadn't disintegrated into a non-functioning assortment of single-tracking trains and acrid, smoke-filled tunnels at the exact same instant that the Silver Line went into service. But we digress! Stable home values. Yay! Tell us why "we'll love it," listicle generators at Washingtonian:

You’ll Love It If: A planned community with lots of outdoor recreation sounds ideal.

Go on....

It’s hard to think of a better spot for playing outside with your kids, and for many families who live there, this is the factor that makes the so-called Reston covenants—which govern all design, landscaping, and renovation decisions—worth the hassle....

No one worries about “being better than the Joneses,” says resident Ken Knueven (though they do worry about the type of fence you want to build).

Ha ha ha SICK BURN U Street garden apartment-dwelling writer. We've seen your type 'round these here parts before.