With Arrival of Clinton Campaign Office, Reston Becomes The Key Swing Planned Community in Election '16

A Confidential Restonian Political Operative forwarded this cellular telephone photo of Hillary Clinton's fancy new Lake Anne field office, which opens tonight. Clearly the Clinton campaign "gets it"--as Lake Anne goes, so goes Reston, and as goes Reston, so goes Columbia, and the Woodlands, and all the other plastic fantastic planned communities nationwide. Forget Soccer Moms and NASCAR Dads -- HOA Homebodies are the swing demographic this fall.

But is there more than meets the eye here? Let's take a look:

Nowhere is the corrupting influence of money on politics more starkly visible than in this campaign's signage. Also, nice Ikea cabinet. Wonder what's inside? OMGZ WE FOUND THE EMAIL SERVER BENGHA$I NEVER FORGET

Then there's this:

The Off Brand Office Chair of Privilege. Most likely a donation from the 1 Percent, which tossed it out after their secretary's personal assistant's dog walker's secretary reported it wasn't "bejeweled enough." BERNIE WAS RIGHT.

Of course, Clinton's rival has yet to set up field offices in Reston (or pretty much anywhere). But after poring through FEC documents for hours, we've made a shocking discovery: He's definitely planning on Making Reston Great Again:

Can't wait for the Trump Steaks pop-up next door, the end.