At RTC, The Truth Is Out There (But Costs $2/Hr)

A Confidential Restonian Operative sent us this exciting cellular telephone photo from his aerie near our favorite fake downtown stressful city-like shopping center. What exactly is that weird series of concentric rings in the grassy knoll adjoining Reston Town Center?

Crop circles? Apparently, part of being an elite shopping destination is catering to out-of-towners -- in this case, folks coming a bit further than the particleboard Valhalla of Ashburn. But fear not -- in an effort to prevent mass panic and maintain the premium customer experience, we have it on good authority that any UFOs that fail to download the ParkRTC app and pay the intergalactic equivalent of $2/hr while docked at the circle will receive the customary RTC welcome, the end.