We're #15! Reston Again Is EXACTLY ONE BETTER Than Ashburn (Except in the Money Categories)

ZOMG, dust off the cassettes of Kasey Kasem's American Top 40, because history -- or at least "history" as it is determined by cynical magazine listicles -- repeats itself again. In Washington Business Journal's list of the HOTTEST neighborhoods for home sales in the region, Reston came in HOT, at #15, with a BULLET.

Normally, we'd bristle that something called "Lake Ridge" in a place called "Woodbridge" in PRINCE WILLIAM COUNTY ranked next highest at #14, and probably make a joke about how everything there rhymes with "fridge." Also, Brambleton ranked #12, suggesting a strong bias towards X-rated parks. But, as was the case a few years back, we get to enjoy a little schadenfruede instead. You see, our plastic fantastic planned community was #15. Guess what was #16? That's right -- Loserville, U.S.A. Ashburn! Suck it, Wegmans-lovers!

Once again, we have proof that the Reston way of life is SCIENTIFICALLY ONE BETTER! And the median value of our aging housing stock is appreciating 2.1 PERCENT FASTER than its off-gassing particleboard stock!

But before we let this get to our heads, we must report some sad news. Listicle generator Money magazine ranked Ashburn #11 on its annual Best Places to Live list. Only one other Virginia locality -- Richmond's exurban forest city Midlothian -- made the list this year.

If it's any consolation, this is the image used to "celebrate" Ashburn's ascendance to such lofty exurban heights:

Also, Money may have ranked Ashburn #11, but another organization ranked it #10 -- tenth nationwide in rude drivers. Give us some validating blockquote, BFFs at Patch:

Ashburn ranked 10th for having an estimated share of 45.7 drivers out of 1,000 cited for rude driving behaviors. By comparison, the national average was 23.1 out of 1,000 drivers cited for one or more infractions categorized as rude.

You'd expect us to make a joke about Wegman's parking lots, but for once, we're sympathetic to our friends to our west: If we lived somewhere that looked like the photo above, we'd have road rage 24/7 too, the end.