ZOMG, mute your videoconference and tell your kids to stop interrupting, because we have very very exciting news! Our plastic fantastic planned community was ranked the best place to work from home in the entire country by the listicle-generating sweatshop formerly known as Money Magazine, which said that Reston "was practically designed with the remote employee in mind." Who knew that sunken living rooms and wall-to-wall carpeting provided the perfect acoustics for Zoom calls? All we can say is suck it, "Lower Merion, Pennsylvania," like that's actually a real place! Give us some good blockquote, BFFs at Money:
The census-designated place has 55 miles of paved pedestrian pathways and trails that connect the various neighborhoods and a majority of residents live within a 10 minute-walk of one of Reston’s 73 parks. It’s home to two golf courses and four man-made lakes perfect for fishing, boating, or lakeside picnics.They may have to update that golf course stat at some point, but alrighty!
Meanwhile, the description makes considerable hay of Reston's large number of restaurants (5 per 1,000 people, but that goes down to 0.00001/1,000 when you factor out the chain eateries), plus its non-pandemic proximity to DC (45 minutes, maybe in some sort of fugue state) and the airport (15 minutes, then double that inching over to the curb). Presumably that's helpful for those DC-like international business trips to destabilize hostile governments to open new markets for bomb-to-dolphin strapping technology export do business stuff.
No truth to the rumor that the rankings were derived from the numbers of questionable "web loggers" present in each community; otherwise, our longstanding rival, LowerMeronian, would have vaulted that community to the top spot. However, Money does point out that before the pandemic, fully 6.3 percent of our fellow Restonians were doing their bomb-strapping business from home.
And now it's looking more and more likely that remote work will increasingly become a permanent part of what's tediously being called the "new normal" for all of us. And Restonian is On Your Side (tm)! To help make all those video conferences scream "I live in the #1 place to work from home, and you don't," we're sharing some helpful Zoom backgrounds for you to use. Anyone can discuss why the TPS reports were stapled the wrong way with a classy image of Lake Anne or RTC behind them, but if you want to inspire your far-flung coworkers with what Reston's really all about, here you go. (Click on each image to enlarge and download for your background, if you're serious about jeopardizing your career; we're sure that Ray from IT will be happy to help you figure it out if you have questions about making it your background.)
Is that Virginia Byway sign some kind of Restonian Amalgamated vigilante ironic art? I wonder every time I drive by. Also, how can there possibly be an "Old" Reston Avenue?
ReplyDeleteThe restaurant part was my favorite -- residents rave about the local restaurant scene! Never heard such raving from any resident ever.
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