Reston, We Can Have Nice Things!

Only decades in the making, our fancy new pedestrian bridge over Wiehle Avenue will soon allow spandex-clad local cyclists to finally achieve their dream of whipping unimpeded through our plastic fantastic planned community at Mach 2. But why should they have all the fun? We're Reston, after all, and we should Think Big about our Live, Work, Play lifestyle! Let's put to use some of that sweeeeet tax revenue coming from all those new oddly-angled buildings and gated communities that had county planners' eyes pop out of their sockets and turn to dollar signs like in a 1930s cartoon. The options are limitless!

Even as high rises stretch towards it, it's still painfully obvious that the Reston Town Center Metro station is closer to Target than... Reston Town Center. So why not use some of those tax dollars to build an underground people mover not unlike the one at Dulles, with the TSA checkpoint replaced by an easy-to-understand kiosk explaining parking options? Speaking of which, the parking garage near the Reston-Wiehle Metro station is great, except maybe for the endless circling to get down to level G-96. Imagine a giant, appropriately earth-toned bouncy slide to speed your way down to your car after a long day of drudgery strapping bombs to dolphins, or whatever, at work!

Our lakes, too, are untapped resources, only suitable for leisure craft like kayaks and booze boats. But after just a couple of decades of dredging, we could have ferries plying their way between Lake Anne and Lake Thoreau in half the time it currently takes to cross the Toll Road in a car at rush hour (which isn't saying much).

And then there's the "play" part of Live, Work, Play! Mt. Reston isn't what it used to be, what with climate change and all, but in its earliest days, advertising for Reston (really) advertised a "ski slope with tow." Why not go all in, and build a gondola lift to whisk the East Coast Aspen crowd up the dizzying 45-foot slope, with apres-ski activities in the church parking lot behind it? And of course, Reston originally had a stable to attract the horsey crowd, but why not go all in and build a giant, appropriately earth-toned, steeplechase? Mint juleps, of course, would have to be replaced with something more appropriate, like an (Off) White Russian.

Or we could be ambitious and build another bridge over the Toll Road, and maybe a few new sidewalks and traffic lights to keep up with the traffic that’s already here! Now, let's not get crazy here, money doesn't grow on trees, keep clapping and maybe we can start site planning in 2045 and maybe have a nice rendering of an (unfunded) bridge flanked by some fanciful concrete bollards by 2060, the end.

This post was originally published in the Reston Letter.