It's Off to the Races!

By now, you've probably heard about the epic drag race between a Lamborghini and a Cybertruck that took place on Rt. 7 in Tysons Corner (given the traffic, they probably both reached a breakneck three miles per hour before hitting a traffic light). While that's all well and good for an area that's angling to replace a used car lot with a casino and all the classy activities associated with them, we in Reston deserve some excitement too! So what can we race?

County planners vs. the DRB. The classic tortoise vs. hare contest. While the planners chase every potential development with dollar signs popping out of their eyes like cartoon characters, the DRB can argue for hours over the positioning of a downspout. The only loser? Our patience.

Cyclists vs. muffler-free cars. Aerodynamic spandex and the fancy new bridge over Wiehle Avenue give the bikers a slight edge, but the folks that roll coal around Reston for hours in cars that sound like someone dropped a roll of quarters into a leaf blower win on decibels.

Roundabouts vs. RTC. If planners get their way in redesigning the intersection of Wiehle and Sunrise Valley, you'll be able to spin around in circles until you reach Warp 2 and literally turn back time. The other will put a butterfly on your car, essentially stopping time.

Spotted lanternflies vs. English ivy. An epic battle of invasive organisms! One flies, the other crawls, but only one is addressed by official recommendations to "squish" it. Clear winner.

Developers vs. golfers. An eternal battle dating back to the 1980 cinematic masterpiece Caddyshack, the golfers have the upper hand... for now. Just watch for the pesky gopher, and by gopher we mean "the aforementioned county planners with dollar signs popping out of their eyes like cartoon characters."

Terraset vs. an inert iron rod. Reston may not rate a rad drag race with a Cybertruck, but our favorite semi-subterranean elementary school bears an uncanny resemblance to one (really, just Google it). It might not move quickly, but we'll take the elementary school over the inert iron rod, the end.

This post was originally published in the Reston Letter.