Panic: The Drones are Here

Behold this blurry yet terrifying still from a cellular telephone video someone in the Greater Reston-Herndon Area posted to the Face Book Dot Com Online Web Site yesterday: Clearly, the fleets of drones that have terrorized New Jersey managed to recharge their batteries and fly south.

Now, the naysayers and the haters and the Lamestream Media will have you think that this is merely incoming flights lined up for their final approach to Dulles during the busy holiday travel season, or perhaps a constellation, but we know the real, horrifying truth. And there's proof! We were just grabbing our usual sustenance at the McTacoHutPupa complex yesterday and witnessed this shocking scene of destruction:

Clearly, the drones have come for our Chalupa Supremes, leaving nothing but a pile of rubble and a carefully erected construction fence in their wake. And there's more! At considerable legal risk, we falsified our "web logging" income so we could qualify for a Nextdoor Neighbor Dot Com account in our fancypants neighbor to the north, "Great" Falls. Good thing, too, as we discovered this heinous crime:

Not only did the drones get away with a couple of wreaths, but apparently they managed to nab this poster's CAPS LOCK key and vowels as part of their airborne LARCNY. Oh, the humanity!

In conclusion, we hope the RA, or another equally well-armed organization, manages to set up anti-drone batteries around our most important strategic infrastructure to protect us from the Menace from Above, the end.